The socratic Paradox and the enemy of learning

Socrates (c. 470 BC), once said “I know that I know nothing”. Plato (α 428/427 or 424/423 BC – ω 348/347 BC) told us the story when The Oracle of Delphi stated “Socrates is the wisest.”

I dedicated my life to learning and like a fire in the sky i followed Socrates advice, at first getting it completely wrong, then unlocking a little meaning from it, and eventually being able to live it fully without thinking in any situation I am in.

My starting point for any conversation and discussion has been “I know nothing, let’s try to learn something”.

Did it serve me well?


It helped me learn much quicker than most of the people i have seen around me and ironically enough, this is not my ego talking because as i said before “I know that i know nothing”.

Most people around us are driven by ego. If we are driven by ego, we will never learn one important thing in life. When we are driven by ego, we start conversations from a point where we believe that our knowledge of the other person’s reality is more than zero. This is always wrong, unless you have been in somebody else’s mind from the very moment she was born to the exact moment when the conversation starts.

Paradoxically if that was the case, we wouldn’t need the conversation because the thoughts of the two individuals would be the same.

Our ego is the worst enemy of learning, because he doesn’t allow us to get rid of our preconceptions and biases about the person we have in front of us hence making us unable to learn anything at all.

If our life is driven by our ego, we will distance ourselves more and more from the world of the other people we want to interact with because throughout our life our ego has been telling them “i know your stupid mind, shut up, I’m telling you who you are to help you”.

How sad is this? We already are so lonely in a life where we spend all of our time in the only seat of the best movie in the world, our life.

It is even sadder because the day you realise that it is worth finding out what people think is the day we unlock our learning superpower, asking powerful questions 🦄

Socrates does not want to know, he wants to learn from the people around him and nature, the ego wants to know and doesn’t want to learn from anybody or anything.

Do you want to be wise, or learn? Intentions are everything

Do you want to be Socrates the learner, or do you want to be the Oracle?

The choice is yours 🍄

Back to school at 49

In my efforts to help organisations gain business agility, I have through the years, tuned my approach continuously, using small experiments based on what I learned on the job, the people I spoke to, the books I read, the blog I visited and even the conferences I attended.

I have had thousands of teachers and I thank you all.

At the end of 2018 I sat down to retrospect on where I am on this journey and this is what I currently do when I work at a client.


This is my current approach that is the result of years and years of small improvements.

For 2019 I want to do 2 things.

First of all I want to stop Telling people what to do completely, this in turn will free 10% of my time and I want to dedicate it to connecting with people on a personal level.

This is an area where I don’t feel completely confident and I fear I might be doing something wrong to the people I connect with.

For this reason I decided to go back to college and do an Advanced Diploma in Personal, Leadership and Executive Coaching.

I am very excited and proud to go back to school at the age of 49.

Wish me luck 🙂

From Consulting to Coaching, what’s the difference for the client?

“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made, in a narrow field.” Niels Bohr

In order to resolve complex problems, organisations often hire experts for help.

When I am such expert, very early in the engagement I explain how I can help resolve the problem they have in a few different ways.

What I tell them is that I can provide my service at three different levels:

  1. Coaching, where I help the people i coach ask the right questions, find the answers within themselves and resolve the problem.
  2. Mentoring, where I use a combination of coaching, training and also offer some options that might help resolve the problem .
  3. Consulting, where I either solve the problem as individual contributor (doing) or give instructions in order to solve the problem (telling)

The idea is that the paying client will decide what service level he requires, but the decision is not very straight forward if I only provide the three definitions above.

Lately I have found useful using a new approach (new to me) to help my clients make the right choice. With this approach, I show the impact of each of the different levels of service on “things” paying clients care about.

I use three simple visualisations, if you think they can help you, feel free to use them. If you have another interesting visualisation you found useful, please share it with me.

Future dependence on my service


Through this view the client will be able to see how one approach is going to create a dependence on my service to be continued in the future, while the opposite is going to remove completely the need for my service. This is useful for clients to verify what fits better with their long term strategy on dealing with problems similar to the ones I am helping resolve.

Time to Resolution:


Through this view I highlight the impact of the approach on the time that it will take to resolve the problem I have been hired for. This will help the customer make a decision based on the urgency of the problem. The more urgent the more to the left we will go.

Resistance to Change


This view in my opinion is extremely important because it is not always obvious to my clients but has massive impact on the organisation’s ability to deal with the result of my work.

If I am a specialist working on my own (doing) i won’t have any resistance as I am the one that is changing to resolve the problem. If I have to tell other people how to change to resolve a problem by giving instructions (telling) I am very likely going to be told “go away!”. If I exercise power to apply the change, things won’t be much better as people will do what I say but on a spectrum from unhappy compliant to angry saboteur. If I help people find the right way to change for the better, I will acquire many allies that will be invested in making change happen and most importantly sustain it in the long run.

Ultimate guide to use metrics to distract your teams and destroy your company

I have had a lot of conversations, with agile people and not, around the topic of measuring success of an agile team. I have heard all sorts of metrics thrown around, from velocity, throughput, number of bugs or lack thereof, and so on.

The fact is that those metrics are completely useless, let me tell you why.

Imagine that your team in a period of 3 months has increased its velocity from 24 to 48. What does that mean? Some people will tell you they are 100% better or even 100% more successful!

I say that they are 100% better at delivering stories (assuming they didn’t game the metrics)

More than likely they work in an organisation that measure success based on the old Budget-Time-Scope paradigm.

Unfortunately in your search for speed you are sub-optimising your system and not achieving the real goal of your company.

A team that bases success on the Budget/Time/Scope triangle I call it BuildEverythingFastAndPray)

What is a successful team?

A team is successful if they help the organisation they serve be successful, regardless of how many story points they deliver.

Let me tell you what a successful team measures.

A successful team measures business outcomes. What are business outcomes? Let me give you some examples:

1) x% increase week to week on downloads of your mobile app
2) y% increase in signups month to month
3) z% reduction of customer support calls month to month

or any similar outcome depending on your context where x,y,z>0


Because an organisation that obtains those outcomes is normally successful.

Even more importantly, the team will continuously monitor how their actions affect the business outcome metrics they have set to achieve so that they might decide to:

  1. Stop writing that feature, we have obtained the result and any further bell and whistle wont give us ROI
  2. Do more of this, the metrics are going in the right direction but not as expected
  3. Stop doing this and do something else, this feature is not producing the results we were expecting
  4. Ah, look at what the customer is doing instead of doing what we thought he would do! Let’s help them do it in an easier way…



Build Measure Learn

Now compare this to delivering all the 1 zillion stories in the fixed scope at the velocity of 48 per sprint.

What’s a successful team for you?


A short report on my agile experimental talk

Last week I asked the community for help on designing an agile talk rather than a talk on agile .

If you don’t want to read the full article here’s the TLDR: Can we embed the agile values in the format of a beginners talk so that people will learn by breathing them rather than hearing about them?

I received quite a lot of encouragement from a lot of people. I love the agile/lean community, thank you folks, you are incredible!

I got some great suggestions from Patrick Steyaert that recommended looking into Lean Coffee and Fish Bowl.

Both formats are highly participative and pretty much agendaless and gave me a great point to start at.

My goals in priority order:

  1. Do not bore an audience that for the first time hears about agile. Don’t push them away!
  2. Identify a format that embodies the values I believe to be the most important in agile and make sure the attendees feel and recognise them while they are attending
  3. Make sure people actively participate
  4. Have fun

To me the most important values in agile are: people, customer and responding to change.

The People

I asked 3 fantastic practitioners to help me on the day. The 4 of us were “the agile product team” that was going to deliver the product (learning) to our customers (audience)

Thank you so much to Claudio Perrone, Andrea Baker and Lisa Hickey for accepting to help with less than 24 hour notice and no details whatsoever on what i needed them to do (isn’t this ability to respond to change? :-))

my teammates.png
My Fantastic Team Mates: from left to right Claudio, Andrea and Lisa

The Customers

I told the audience that me and my team mates were going to give a product to them, they were our customers and as such they were extremely important.

To start we needed the customer help to understand what real value is to them.

We asked them to select with dot voting some agile topics from around 35 different agile topics (I took a subset including mainly basic concepts).

The topics were taken from ‘s wonderful Agile Topics card deck that I printed and laminated (for the quite steep price of €50)

The customers immediately queued towards the table where the cards and the markers for voting were. We time boxed the activity to 5 minutes. Claudio, ever the lean man,  immediately identified a bottleneck as the table was too small and only 2 to 3 people could vote at the same time.

Customers queuing to dot vote (bottleneck)

The activity had to be extended to 6 minutes to allow everybody to vote.

The team took 6 topics with highest number of votes and put them on the wall in dot voting ranking order.

We started with the first topic.

It happened to be BDD: First thing, I asked the customers if they knew what it was. One of the people in the audience started giving us his take. When he finished, I spoke about it a bit, then my 3 team mates took turns in adding their perspective.

Responding to change

This lasted for 5 minutes when the timer went off and i asked the audience to tell us by using thumbs up or down whether they wanted to continue talking for 5 more minutes about BDD or if they wanted to move to the next topic.

People voted for sticking to BDD for 5 more minutes

After 5 more minutes we voted again and we went to the second topic.

We made sure that the team swapped activities, everybody took turns in talking about the topics, we alternated roles like time keeping and pulling the cards from the wall.

We wanted to show team collaboration and cross functional abilities.

The topics selected by our customers

I got loads of feedback from the people in the audience and the team.

Claudio suggested that when talking about topics, the first couple of sentences need to describe it in a easily understandable recipe format, this is true in particular because of the audience low level of agile knowledge.

Davide Lovetere an enterprise Architect among our customers gave me a lot of incredibly valuable feedback around some contradiction in terms he had noticed during execution.

Other customers said that they enjoyed the format and want to use it for some of the meetings they do in work (yay!)

Other customers said that they enjoyed it but it finished too early, we only had time to talk about 4 topics and they would have loved to touch more

That’s me having a ball as usual when I speak at conferences 🙂

I loved doing it, received valuable feedback to improve it and can’t wait for the next time!



3 Simple Steps to Help Overloaded Teams

dublin-rain-491-390x285It was a wet and dark morning in Dublin when I sat with team X for the first time.

I had been told: “Gus, these guys are struggling, they really need your help. They are always late, and everybody complains about the quality of their work, it’s bad, very bad”.

I expected a demotivated team of technically poor developers with its members playing video games or youtube videos instead of doing their job, but I was wrong.

No developer was slacking or pretending to work, on the other hand, I saw people with worried faces shuffling around, some listening to angry customers, some head down into code, some testing and quietly cursing.

To a newcomer, they looked super busy and doing their thing.

I perceived the first hint of trouble later in the day. I went to talk to some of them, just introducing myself and telling them that I was going to work with them to try to make their life easier. Each and every one of them was too busy to talk. All of them had something urgent, being a production issue, being a customer waiting behind their backs, or a release they had to finish by 5pm. Sorry, sorry Gus, I really can’t now, I have this blah blah…

I took it in and let them alone for the day. The day after, I kept on observing without saying a word. The amount of pressure that I saw applied on to these poor kids was frightening. In the same day I saw 8 different people go to the same developer and demand he finished something he was meant to have finished already. The requesters were different people and asked for 8 different things, all quite angrily.

The subsequent days, my observations stressed more and more this situation, the people were pushed over the limits and by trying to finish things quickly and relief some of the pressure were skipping steps and introducing new problems, new issues to work on, and so on.

I kept on observing and asking questions here and there, but the people saw me as somebody that couldn’t help them with the code, hence quite useless. I had to do something different.

On the 4th day, in the morning, after their standup, I told them to stop doing what they were doing and come and have a chat with me.

Believe it or not, It was almost impossible to get them off their seats.

no-thanks-were-too-busyThey felt they could not leave the sinking ship, they needed to continue trying to flush the water out with their hands. Did I have a powerful drain pump and could save the boat easily? They didn’t have time to learn how to use it, they needed to keep on shovelling with their bare hands.

I eventually got them into a room. We had a retrospective. I disguised the retro to be something else, because I had heard from one of the developers: “we don’t do retrospectives anymore, what’s the point if we don’t have the time to change anything?”

That’s a very valid question. Very.

The team was obviously overloaded and didn’t have the maturity and the necessary negotiation skills to express that to their customers and stakeholders. They had reacted to the overload with what I call the “headless chicken approach”. It works like this: “Just do all you can, forget about quality, process, product, customers, just run for your life and even if your work product is terrible, people won’t be able to blame you, as you work like a donkey every day.”

fuck-it-let-s-just-panic-and-run-around-like-headless-chickensDo you think this is uncommon? Well think again.

The first step we took was to visualise the work in progress. The guys were using Jira with no physical board and didn’t realise how much work they were really taking on. The board was scary, full scary I mean.

As the work came from many different products, another thing that we did was separating the products into different classes of service.

By doing this we immediately saw that one product had most of the tickets, why? We don’t know yet, but at least we are aware of it now.
After this very simple step  the team members started having conversations that were beyond the need to finish MyNewFeature, they started looking at current priorities and talking about the whys of the bad situation they where in.

Then they started talking about experiments to fix it.

They were improving the system.

I looked outside the window, the sun had come out.

What were the 3 steps we made that enabled the behavioural change?

  1. Acknowledge we were in an unsustainable situation that needed changing
  2. Agree the team had the responsibility and the authority to improve it with my support and management agreement
  3. Visualise the work they were already doing


Just this small change had transformed a group of intelligent people acting like headless chickens into people that were trying to improve a complex system, not bad for a weeks work I’d say!

If you are curious stay tuned and I will tell you what happened next, no more chickens, I swear.

The new episode of the story of Team X is out

CIAC – Certified Ignorant And Curious

Madrid Is a beautiful city
Madrid Is a beautiful city

Speaking and learning about other people’s ideas at a conference is an incredibly energizing activity for me. The reason, I believe, is the fact that I am naturally very curious; people’s thoughts and ideas generally satisfy my curiosity at least for a few hours.

On Wednesday evening, in Madrid, I was involved in the ExpoQA “Great debate” where speakers, sponsors and the conference goers discussed various topics in an open session.

Inevitably the topic of “Professional Certification” was touched.

I briefly made my point by saying that I am not one for certifications because I believe that what the Greek philosopher Socrates said: “I’m the smartest man in Athens because I know that I know nothing”. For me learning is a continuous activity and the most important element is the acknowledgement of ignorance rather than the certification of knowledge.

The discussion went on with the sponsors making some good points pro certifications and some interesting insights from the conference participants.

On the flight back from Madrid I thought about it a bit more and eventually decided I am going to start certifying Ignorant people. What I mean with ignorant people, is:

people that are aware that learning is a continuous activity and can never end. People that, no matter how much they know about a subject, have the humbleness to listen to all voices, including the ones that they don’t like, because they believe there is always a chance they might learn something. These people, know that they don’t know and are driven by curiosity in their continuous search for knowledge.

The certificate
I started by certifying myself

I had a quick chat with with Socrates on Skype, he liked the idea and that’s why I am here presenting to you the CIAC certification.

Do you want to become a Certified Ignorant And Curious professional?

Add a comment to this post or mail me directly with one sentence where you clearly demonstrate you are a humble ignorant in search of knowledge. You can also tweet your sentence using the tag #IknowThatIdontKnow including my twitter handle (@augeva)

If you are successful, you will receive a prestigious certificate signed by me and Socrates.

No industry benefits, no costs associated, it doesn’t need renewal, you can print the certificate, frame it and proudly display it in your office!

The 5 Stages of Expertise

Niels Bohr
Niels Bohr

It was more than 20 years ago when, in college, for the first time, I heard this

An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made, in a narrow field.
                                                                                          Niels Bohr (Physicist 1885 – 1962)

Initially I didn’t understand it, but it fascinated me, with time I learned to appreciate it.

Let me demonstrate it for you.

I smoke cigarettes that i roll up by myself and in the years I screwed up in likely every possible way while rolling one, and learned a lot about how to make a cigarette even in the most adverse weather conditions like gale force winds and pouring rain. I never rolled during an earthquake but if I can do it easily while driving a non automatic car in the city traffic, I can infer I can do it if the earth shakes a little so I can exclude this edge case. I can proudly claim to be an expert in the narrow field of “Rolling up cigarettes”

How about domains more complex than rolling up cigarettes?

When we talk about a complex domain, like software testing for example, what is an expert? If we want to go by Bohr’s definition we could assert that an expert in software testing doesn’t exist because it is physically impossible for any human being to make all the possible mistakes in such complex domain in one single life. I tend to think that Bohr’s quote is still valid for complex domains and real experts in such domains don’t exist.

These are what I imagine the 5 stages of expertise to be

The 5 stages of expertise
The 5 stages of expertise

As in stage 4, learning is an infinite activity, obviously there will be a wide range of expertise within the same stage and the closer you get to infinity the more you become an expert. Is infinity relative to time? Amount of books read? Number of experiments run? Maybe all of it.

This stupid model has been imagined by me, a person that believes that, in relation to software testing, he is is in stage 4 “Perpetual Learner”.

The reason why you don’t see the 5th stage is thatI haven’t reached it, in fact I don’t even know if such stage exists or not.

On the other hand, if the 5th stage existed, it would invalidate my own very model, in fact the model states that “Learning is an infinite activity” that contradicts the existence of a 5th stage. So should I exclude the existence of a 5th stage, so that my model works? Not really, I’d rather search for the reason that invalidates my model than defend it. Why? Because I learn more when I make mistakes than when I am right, how about you?

Tech Conferences for Dummies – dos and don’ts

I love going to tech conferences, I love the buzz, the learning, the engagement and the fun. There are a few things you can do to get the best value out of attending a tech conference, keep on reading.

1. Draw a plan and make sure you don’t stick to it

Plans Change
Plans Change

Every self respecting tech conference will have a public program listing all the available sessions, times, locations etc. Well before going you want to read it and identify the talks, workshops, open sessions you want to attend. That’s the easy part.

The measure of how successful your participation to the conference is, is directly proportional to the amount of unplanned sessions you attend. Why do I say that? When you were planning, you were reading a session’s abstract, maybe researching the work of a speaker, but deep inside you needed to trust your intuition believing that what will be at the session is what you expect. The great thing is that once you are at the conference you will be able to ask other people what they think about a speaker, about a specific subject, about other sessions and so on. Use people around you to challenge the assumptions you created while reading the session’s abstracts, discover what you didn’t know you didn’t know with the help of the other conference attendees. Be agile, discover, adapt your plan and act!

Discover The World
Discover The World

2. Ditch your work mates and discover the world

If you are at a tech conference, chances are you are with at least one or two colleagues. Let me ask you a question: do you think you are going to learn more if you stick to your mates and avoid talking to the rest of the people or if you open up and speak as much as possible to the other conference attendees? The answer seems obvious, but you will be amazed by how many little “same company groups” stick together through thick and thin and avoid contact with “the others”. Ask yourself, am I here to learn or to be shy and protected by my team mates? You know the answer, get out there, mix up with people from all over the world, share your experience and and learn from theirs, you will be surprised how many people do great things, yet in a different way from you.

Interact With The Speakers
Interact With The Speakers

3. Interact with the speakers, they are (mostly) decent human beings and they care

You have been following this guys’ blog posts for years, you’ve read all his books, you have attended 2 other talks he presented in the past and you are inspired by his ideas. Now he is there, having a coffee during a break between sessions and you are there with that “huge question” you have never been able to answer in your mind no matter how many times you reread his books. What do you do?

  1. Stare in awe and duck if he is looking at you
  2. Run away before he recognise you from your twitter account picture that has been re-tweeting all his tweets in the last 5 years
  3. Go there, introduce yourself and ask the “huge question”

Another obvious choice if you want to grow, but make no mistake, most conference attendees do either 1 or 2. I can guarantee that the speaker will be delighted you’re interested, will be flattered by the fact you are familiar with his work and will do everything possible to answer your question and make sure you can put your mind at rest. Here’s the deal, if you do 3 and the speaker treats you badly and embarrasses you because you asked a stupid question, I will buy you a beer.

Go to Open Sessions
Go to Open Sessions

4. Go to as many open sessions as you can

Be it a “pitch your idea” or a “lean coffee/beer” or a “games session” or any other open session where you can interact with others, please go go go go go! In these sessions you will find people that maybe had an intuition but their idea is still half baked and you can help them discover it, you will be asked to participate and interact with others, you will discover something new that you didn’t know existed and more importantly you will be able to interact with other people in an informal environment. Introduce yourself, ask for names, show interest, talk and listen, listen, listen.

Tweet Blog Talk
Tweet Blog Talk

5. Tweet, blog, talk about the interesting session you listened to and the things you learned

Be nice to others, if you learned something valuable, share it with the rest of us, we appreciate it. When tweeting or blogging add the handle of the speaker you are talking about allowing him to interact with you and make your tweet, blog richer and more interesting for everybody.

Have the Craic
Have the Craic

6. Relax and have the craic

Most conferences are hosted in fancy hotels that have beautiful bars with plenty of tasty fluid. Go to the bar and you will be surprised by the fact that a good 50% of the punters are speakers. For some of them speaking at a conference is their job, talking and interacting with people all day can be stressful, so some of us like to have a drink or two to unwind after all the talks are finished. Join in, bring your pint over to any group of people, speakers, attendees, it doesn’t matter and start talking to them, more than likely you will find out you have something in common with them, after all you are all there for one thing, learning.


5 Reasons why best practices are bad for you

That’s me after talking to a best practice guy

1st reason: The hardest conversation you will ever have is with somebody that blindly believes a practice applies to every context and it is always valid, no matter what. There are 2 ways out of the conversation, agree with your interlocutor or kill him. I don’t like either option (even though I am often tempted by the second) so I end up trying my utmost to use reasoning and examples, but I miserably fail in 99.99% of the cases, eventually become exhausted and retreat in a personal comatose space where I refuse to discuss the issue any longer. #WinByExhaustion

2nd reason: Think religion. If you are roman catholic like me, then the Bible is your best practice manual. The Bible thinks for you, you simply follow and if you doubt something then you are an infidel that should be excommunicated (who cares?) or worse silenced and sometimes burnt at the stake, don’t you love it? Some names come to mind including Galileo Galilei that was intelligent enough to refuse his own belief, but  if you want a more detailed list have a peek here:

Burn him at the stake!
Is this what you do to different thinkers?

The thing is, you cannot innovate if you believe in best practices, because according to the best practice you don’t need to innovate. Did the roman catholic church evolve? Did they innovate? Fuck no! They are stuck to the day that poor Jesus Christ (God bless his soul) died on the cross and his followers started writing about him. #NoInnovation

They have them, they are very well hidden and they are too nice to use them against us: TRUTH

3rd reason: Best Practices are your #1 personal growth enemy. I see extremely intelligent people that have best practices so ingrained in their DNA that refuse to accept every valid reason, no matter what the evidence is. These people are the ones that will lag behind, because for example 20 years ago they might have said “what’s the fuss with this Internet thingy, business is run in factories and shops, you won’t make money with it, unless you are a porn site provider”. Today I hear financial experts saying “Forget about Bitcoin, money is money and people want it in their wallets and regulated banks”.

4th reason: Best practices are the antithesis to kaizen, do I have to say more? #YoureStuck

Become Better, be the change

5th reason: Best practices deny men the greatest pleasure of them all, discovery. The day that you switch your brain from following the best practice is the day you might discover something awesome about yourself. The day you start listening to the person you are talking to without having the mental block of the best practice that doesn’t allow you to agree with him. That day you will grow. The day you will say “eureka!”. The day you will discover you are FUNDAMENTALLY WRONG. I love those moments, they make my brain go at 200 miles an hour and in a day I grow more than in 10 years.   #NoEureka!

Everything’s squared away

To finish I wanted to thank a few people that helped me reach the “eureka!” moments, you are the reason why I have evolved and I am a better person today than I was before.

In no particular order:

Monica Campardo, Emmet Townsend, Diego Armando Maradona, Roberto Lo Giacco, Gojko Adzic (twice!), Don Gabriele, Aunty “Zia” Enrica, Lisa Crispin and Janet Gregory (books), Mary Coyle, Giacomo Leopardi (poems), My high school Maths teacher (I don’t remember his name but was known among students as “il Roscio” => “The ginger”), Eric Ries (books), Barry O’Reilly and the other guys in ThoughtWorks, Jayne McCormack, My Brother Duccio, Evariste Galois (books), Gianluca Perazzoli, Gerard M. Weinberg (books), My lovely sister in law Luana, My Nana (highest amount of times), Martin Fowler (blog), Gandhi (life and quotes), Auntie Ada, Massimo Troisi (movies), Roy Phillips, Roberto Benigni (movies), Dan North, The “Dude” in the Big Lebowsky

I thank you all with all my heart for proving me FUNDAMENTALLY WRONG that day, and inspiring me to become a better person. I might have forgotten one or two, sorry folks.

Do you want to be in the list? Prove me FUNDAMENTALLY WRONG and give me a “eureka!” moment, I will love you forever!

the dude teaches
The “Dude” proved me wrong when I thought I had to be a serious and stiff arsehole to be liked by people